Hi all, there's some great stuff here. Use it at work and play. Impress friends and neighbours, BUT most of all......ENJOY
Blamestorming
Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and
who was responsible.
Chainsaw Consultant
An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with
clean hands.
Cube Farm
An office filled with cubicles.
404
Someone who's clueless "Don't bother asking him; he's 404." From the WWW error
message "404 Not Found", meaning the requested document couldn't be located.
Keyboard Plaque
The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.
Ohnosecond
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a big mistake.
Prairie Dogging
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up
over the walls to see what's going on.
SITCOMs
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home
with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
Starter Marriage
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no
regrets.
Swiped Out
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn
away from extensive use.
Tourists
People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had
three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
Treeware
Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
Going Postal
Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. (Makes reference to the
unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped and gone on shooting
rampages.)
Alpha Geek
The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.
"Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
Assmosis
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to
the boss rather than working hard.
Beepilepsy
The brief seizure people sometimes have when their beeper goes off (especially in vibrator
mode). Characterized by physical spasms, boofy facial expressions and interruption of
speech in mid-sentence.
Crapplet
A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just wasted 30 minutes
downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"
Dancing Baloney
Little animated GIFs and other Web F/X that are useless and serve simply to impress
clients. "This page is kinda dull. Maybe a little dancing baloney will help."
Generica
Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is.
"We were so lost in generica, I actually forgot what city we were in.
Irritainment
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop
watching them. The O.J. trials were prime example.
Midair Passenger Exchange
Grim air-traffic-controller-speak for a head-on collision. Midair passenger exchanges are
quickly followed by "aluminum rain."
PEBCAK
Tech support shorthand for "Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard." (Techies
are a frustrated, often arrogant lot. They've submitted numerous acronyms and terms that
poke fun at the clueless users who call them up with frighteningly stupid questions.
Another variation on the above is ID10T - "This guy has an ID-Ten-T on his
system.")
Percussive Maintenance
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
Seagull Manager
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.
Uninstalled
Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice president at a downsizing
computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled vice president. Please
dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.
Vulcan Nerve Pinch
The taxing hand position required to reach all of the appropriate keys for certain
commands. For instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously
pressing the Control key, the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key