The following are a sampling of REAL (so we are told) answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (read: Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.
Q. Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the
road?
A. What for? He can't see my license plate.
Q. Who has the right of way when four cars approach a
four-way stop at the same time?
A. The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns
don't kill people. I do."
Q. What are the important safety tips to remember when
backing your car?
A. Always wear a condom.
Q. When driving through fog, what should you use?
A. Your car.
Q. How can you reduce the possibility of having an
accident?
A. Be too s**t faced to find your keys.
Q. What problems would you face if you were arrested for
drunk driving?
A. I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q. What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could
no longer drive lawfully?
A. I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q. What are some points to remember when passing or being
passed?
A. Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.
Q. What is the difference between a flashing red traffic
light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A. The colour.
Q. How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A. Heavy psychedelics.
Q. What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A. Carry loaded weapons.
Q. Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A. It would hard to be a dickhead all day long.
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