Husbands Quotes...

• I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
• I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
• Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
• The last fight was my fault.
  My wife asked: "What's on the TV?"
  I said: "Dust!"
  
• In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
  Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman.
  Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
  
• Why do men die before their wives?
  They want to.
  
• What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
  About 5 drinks.
  
• A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said:
  "I haven't eaten anything in four days."
  She looked at him and said: "God, I wish I had your will power."
  
• Do you know the punishment for bigamy?:
  Two mothers-in-law.
  
• Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
  doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
  Dad: That happens in every country, son.
  
• A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife Wanted".
  Next day he received a hundred letters.
  They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
  
• The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
  once.
  
• First guy: "My wife's an angel!"
  Second guy: "You're lucky, mine is still alive."
  
• How do men define marriage?:
  An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
  
• Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
  they had no faults at all.
  
• If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word
  you say, talk in your sleep.
  
• Then there was a man who said: "I never knew what real happiness was until I
  got married; and then it was too late."